So this morning, my phone again decided to delete my entire post and I haven't had time before now to redo it. I'lt was relatively short so I'll try to recreate it.
Psalm 42:1-5 NIV
As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, "Where is your God?"
These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng. Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
I love who deep the psalmist's longing is for God. He needs him, yearns for him, pines after him. He feels alone, but in the fourth verse he reminds himself what to do regardless of how it feels.
I don't know about you, but I don’t always feel God's presence. Sometimes He feels so close and others I wonder if I only imagined it all because I feel so alone. One of the truths that I have come to learn is that Satan wars against me and tries to manipulate my feelings. When I am weak and don't store up scripture in my heart to come to my defense, I struggle to remember the things that I have known to be true.
In my experience this is very true with women because we worry a lot and that worry starts to make us feel small, helpless and trapped. (This is not to say men don’t feel like this. I have just discussed this more with women.) It is as if the world gets dark and it is hard to find a way out. I can't even see my feet right in front of me, let alone where to go.
At times like this, I need to do what this psalmist does. I need to tell myself to remember the truth. It is hard to get up and go to my source for truth - my sword that will clear away the lies that are trying to bury me. It is hard to worship God because I sometimes feel like there is nothing worth worshiping him for. It is hard to pray and ask for help when I already feel so deserted. But the moments when it FEELS like that are the times I need to do it the most because those are methods of spiritual warfare that will help battle on my behalf to get me out of the dark and into the Glory of the presence of God.
Daniel prayed once for at least month for God to send him an angel or an answer to prayer. The angel finally arrived and Daniel asked why it took so long. The angel responded that he had been fighting his way through since Daniel had started to pray. Just imagine what it would have been like if Daniel had given up.I encourage you to persevere. You are not alone and God does hear you (even if it doesn't feel like it).
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