Isn't it crazy how God works?! He sets up conversations with the right people at the right to to direct you to where he wants you to go. He goes before you to work in people's hearts so that they might be receptive to what he wants you to do. And then we, those who are most blessed by his works, suddenly find ourselves in the midst of this whirlwind of activity and movement and change and it's sometimes hard to even keep up with God.
Here is what I mean by this... we'll start at a beginning and hopefully it will begin to make sense as we go along.
Event 1: 6 years ago, I was looking at undergraduate universities. First choice was tulane in New Orleans, second was WMU. First choice major: English or Business or a combination of the two. Final destination: WMU with an Elementary Education Major including a focus on Math, Language Arts, and French.
As a result: I got my El. Ed. BA, I met my husband. I have secured an array of dear friends that I will miss very much soon and God has grown me like there is no tomorrow or at least not one that I can see. All of which was just where I needed to be for major events like my dad dying, getting married, issues with my mom, and needing more of Jesus and our Heavenly Father as well as not being in New Orleans for a particularly nasty hurricane.
Event 2: Graduated from WMU. Husband Joel applies for a job (in a state i never expected to live in and was actually on my list of states I prefer not to go to) at my behest and HE GETS IT! So we're going to florida. This was an answer to prayer that he got a job immediately so I wouldn't have to and I would have time to deal with my "quarter-life crisis" of "what do I want to do with my life"? I so far have discerned/decided that i might/probably will not want to teach in a public school long term unless God changes my heart again.
As a result: I have time to continue soul-searching and discerning God's will (hopefully correctly). I know from encouragement from other teachers, friends, and husband, that I really do want to teach. I just need the right age group, location, work place and genre to teach within. This has been an arduous process that is killer for my need to plan my future as well as for my husband as I (inadvertently torturing him) process my thoughts, worries, concerns and musings out loud. Thoughts that had appeared were: tutoring, college, university, private, charter, try out public, high school, middle, elementary, or do something else entirely.
Event 3: I tutored at WMU. Last day of tutoring for one class I had 25+ students show up. Needless to say I didn't tutor, I taught... college students. And I was comfortable doing it. I wasn't nervous about interrupting them. I was fine giving directions and i expected that they would do it. Even though I knew from previous tutoring sessions only about 1/3 of the group.
As a result: I mentioned it to my husband and how I enjoyed it. He responded, "Well maybe you should teach college students." My response, "I don't know but maybe...?"
Event 4+: Talking with various friends and finding encouragement or caution in areas for teaching. Tutoring: where can you go with it? High School: might not have enough of a thick skin. Private, charter, public: mostly the same and have to find the right school - good luck! middle and elementary: the kids really are getting worse - cyclical cycle with the kids with poor parents became even worse parents and their kids will become worse parents with worse kids... you get the idea. University/College: they want to be there - at least they are paying for it; more student responsibility; I can have adult expectations for them; if tenured, can teach what I want and how I want, have to get a master's degree anyway; I could build adult relationships and help train students; i liked tutoring college kids; I can turn my back on them when writing on the board.
As a result: My mind has been rolling around the possibility of teaching at the university level. I'm not scared away by the academics that would involve - I enjoyed most of it depending on the professor. I do like college students and teaching/tutoring them was enjoyable no matter the subject I taught. Maybe this could be an option, but no clue how it would happen.
Event 5-6: Talked with A.T. and then A.K. During these discussions I have rolled around the idea of what would I do in the case that I did want to teach at a university level. This would be a ways into the future (I would need an MA and potentially a PhD). We're talking about hours of conversation with these two girls (bless you hearts, you know who you are).
As a result: So far I have been deliberating over what would I want to study for an MA and therefore what would I want to teach at a university. i know I want it to be something I'm interested in rather than something that I can just do - seems like a small thing, but it eliminated general social studies/history and the basic sciences. French - would need a lot more work to be able to "do" it well and i'm more interested in visiting France than teaching french anyway. So that leaves Math and English - both VERY broad categories. Math: I like learning about math - it stretches my brain and I do like teaching about the reasoning behind why math works. Usual math classes don't teach the reasoning though and I would probably only get that part through teaching about teaching math... so Math Education, or rather teaching teachers about the math they will have to explain to their kids so they know more than their kids do. English: I love reading and writing. they are two things that I will always pursue to have in my life whether or not my job has to do with them. I am on my own writing a book as well as i happen to own a small library (much to my husbands' dismay as we move again). I had at one point wanted to study english. The only time I didn't like any english experience was as I was teaching elementary curriculum that they forced on me because it didn't allow for my favorite parts (this could never be fixed while in elementary education or secondary ed, but could be as a tenured professor). I liked learning in english classes at WMU so theoretically i could like teaching them. And I even have a meeting set up with my favorite WMU english professor this Wednesday (the Wed. after grades are due and before I leave for Florida) to get guidance from about this potential idea.
To conclude: I am in awe and very confused about what is coming next. I don't know what I am going to do anymore than I did three days ago. But as I think about this new idea, I start to get excited. I am intrigued and finding more positives that mean something to me and feel like positives than for any other options that I have tossed around. I guess I'll just have to explore this door to see if it really is opened for me to walk through or if it's shut but just looks pretty. Who knows about that? But I do know that God is in control and he does have good plans for my future. He is going before me and leading me to where I need to be, even if I happen to feel lost. We'll just have to see where this adventure goes...
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