There is a song called Shifting Sands by Caedmon's Call. Sometimes as I listen to the lyrics I find it hard to connect with them - find it hard to understand then as if they are foreign. But then there are days when I am in that place where I can't see where I am going. There is a light but it barely lights up my feet let alone where I should place my feet next. Today is one of those days.
Today I feel quite inadequate right now. As though I am lost and wandering around with no direction. I seek discernment and peace, to know that you are in charge, to hear or see some confirmation that rests in my soul that you know my path and steps. Today, all the things I know with my head about Him and how worthy He is of my trust and faith seem to stop short o my heart. While I know the Truth, it feels unstable. I know I rest on the Rock and He will not slip out from my feet like shifting sands. Ah, but Father, I want to be secure in you, I don't want to just know, I want to have you hidden in my heart and abide in that. Help me Lord to do that. Give me discernment and wisdom. Give me Your peace that surpasses all understanding as I wait for You. May my faith grow and may I be at peace trusting in what is unseen for that is true faith.
Funny, I think I gave you that song, and I think I need to go listen to it STAT.
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling the exact same way, and have been for a week or two. I keep telling myself that God's plan is perfect, that he always puts me exactly where I need to be, and that he always will. This is so ingrained in my brain, but it is still difficult to feel it in my heart every moment of every day. If I stop whispering it to myself for a few minutes, the anxiety creeps in immediately. So, I keep saying it over and over again, "God's plan is perfect, it always has been, and it always will be." I am determined to convince my heart. I concentrate really hard on remembering all the evidence from my past that proves that he has always put me exactly where I need to be. I especially focus on the instances that seemed so incredibly hard and useless at the time, but I later saw the value of the struggle. When I keep looking back to his previous faithfulness, it makes it easier to believe in his present faithfulness. Our hearts are so feeble and easily manipulated. It's annoying.