an odd mood...

I'm in an odd mood right now. I'm sort of frustrated, somewhat stressed (just enough to want to put off grading my student's work), kinda tired and very much wishing for an end to certain things. I want a clean break from school (I won't get that as a teacher until the summer) at the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of a semester... I want my house to stay clean after I clean it long enough for me to enjoy it's cleanliness. I want things to just work out well. God, it was so much easier when I didn't have so many things to do, when I felt I didn't have to do things well. Lord, will it ever be that way again?
Right now I'm sitting in my hammock (one that my sister gave me after a trip to equador). I just go home from school about 15 minutes ago after my 40 minute drive, after helping another teacher look for her keys for 40 minutes, after another long day that I didn't feel prepared for. sigh... What a day. What a life.
Sometimes, on days like today, I wish that life was as simple as the things you see on tv or read in the bible. I feel like all they tell you about are the important things. For example have you ever noticed that rarely do movies or books (Bible included) talk about people needing to go to the bathroom, diaper changes, examples of children needing to be taught, getting dinner on the table... They just skip all that stuff and talk about the things that are considered important. I feel like I lead a double life. On the one hand I am a teacher and some who tell my life story would just talk about that. And then there is my life as a Christian and some would just talk about my spiritual resume. I don't know how to combine the two of them. And then there all the little things that just make life go around and work (dishes, vacuuming, laundry, sleep, food) and those just don't get nearly as much attention as they should. (side note: all of this inability to do the normal things of life in the midst of trying to work and everything is a very good sign that I'm not ready for a kid even though my heart at times yearns for one.)
...I'm just rambling. I feel kinda lost and confused and just frustrated, and I am finding myself wondering if this is all there is to life. All I have for an answer to that is, "I hope not..." It is good to know that there are at least four of you that are guarenteed to read this (the bonuses of knowing you'll get an email everytime I post something). ;)
Well I'm going to go finish unwinding from the day. Maybe God will be able to sow enough hope into my soul that I'll be able to get my paper grading done (progress reports go out Friday... prayers please).
God bless. I'm out.