It's been interesting in the past few months - weeks really as I have seen people around me (including me) crying out for direction and looking for the next step whatever it might be. For some reason, we are all petrified of not knowing what we are suppose to do next. In some ways (knowing full well I am one of those who virtually panics without a plan), I feel like we miss the point and we are looking for an end goal that really isn't the end goal at all. I think that I at least get caught up in this idea that I need to do something grand with my life and I need to work toward something that is visibly important. But because I am so focused on that I miss the daily goals of working for God's kingdom and just seeking to know him more. For some reason that seems less grand, but truly what could be more grand than intimately knowing the creator of the universe. Perhaps this is one of the ways that Satan has decieved those of the American culture.
In church I have been hearing a lot about just waiting patiently for what comes next. It's not for us to plan our lives - if we attempt to, we're pretty much guarenteed to fail because we never really focus on what is important (i.e. what God wants). Sometimes we try to rush things and make things happen before it's time, but I feel that's like eating chicken undercooked just because you are hungry... Not good. Sometimes we don't go when we are suppose to; maybe that's like leaving the chicken in the oven too long for fear that it might not be cooked enough. One of the people I admire in the bible was Phillip. He isn't talked about much, but in Acts it followed him for a chapter and showed him sharing the good news and converting people. Then one night he had a dream in which an angel told him to "Go." The bible says he just got up and went, heading south. I mean that's an Abraham like faith. God says go here and I'll provide even though it is a desert wasteland. You go and he does. God says i'll make you the father of nations even though your wife's in her 90's and barren. You say ok, and he does it. Phillip, he just went south and because of his faith he came across the eunich that basically spread the gospel throughout all of Egypt. Just by one man following God's will. It makes me wonder what am I missing out when I don't follow his will.
Just this past week, I was talking with a friend who was waiting to hear from PhD schools. She had been accepted but wait listed for funding at 3 schools and was even next in line at 2 of them. Her friends got their acceptance letters, but still she heard nothing. There was one day she even got an empty envelope from one of the schools... that's it just an envelope. I talked to her on the phone maybe Tuesday and she was having a tough time. She thought she knew where God was leading her, but it didn't seem like anything was moving. In my heart I felt like God wasn't saying no and he wasn't really even saying not yet (as in like you will go next year). I was almost nervous talking to her because I didn't want her to think I was dismissing what she felt, but I knew that it was coming. Earlier this past school year I had wanted her to come to a Florida school but I felt like it wasn't going to happen despite my fervent hope that I would have one of my closest friends much closer to me. But there was one school that I just knew was the right one for her. I knew it! So when she was sitting in darkness without a clue what was going on around her, I was reminded of the time when Daniel prayed for an angel. The angel finally arrived but only after a month of battling through satan's minions to reach his side. It took a whole month for that battle of light and darkness to end so he could get to Daniel. I think the only reason why he made it at all was because Daniel kept praying with hope that God would answer. So I prayed for my friend against the kingdom of darkness that nothing would stand in the way of God's plans for my friend. It was kind of an awkward prayer as prayers go with me rambling a bit and searching for words, but I kept praying until I "felt" like it was enough. Then she prayed for hope to hold onto and believe in despite her fear of being disappointed.
And guess what!?! God answered. Not two days later she recieved a phone call from someone at that university that was offering a fully funded scholarship. And it was the one I felt she was going to go to the whole time. Isn't that just CRAZY and soooo like God to move through his people's prayers and to bring glory to his name with such dramatic blessings.
Sometimes it stinks waiting for answers, but when you wait so long that it almost hurts, the blessings that come when the floodgates open are just that much more appreciated.
And then there is Joel and I too. God seems to have been moving this week in our lives too. For me, I think he is directing me toward middle school grades at my elementary school. And I think I might even have my principal's support behind that. I just need to let him know for sure this next week that it is what I will want. Because we are adding a grade (8th) and there are 5 classes of 5th graders moving up I might even get 6th grade which is my first choice as far as grade level goes. For Joel, God is suddenly opening up a year long contract for a potentially full time position at Flight Safety. This would include a FREE multi-engine instructors license and perhaps benefits like paid vacation time, holidays and sick days, and a 401K. He might even be able to work with his Administration degree and get his feet wet there. It would mean that we could save up for me to go to grad school the next year (still don't know how that is going to work out, but we'll see). I actually am feeling hope for next year rather than the dread that has been plaguing me up until this point.
All I can say is that I am grateful. I am grateful for how God blesses those who love and depend on him. I am grateful that he does give you the next step when you are ready for it. Perhaps God was just waiting until my heart was ready to seriously contemplate another year in FL before he opened doors at Joel's job - did I mention that the meeting with my principal happened in the morning on the same day as Joel's meeting at work about this contract opportunity. He's just crazy like that! Ah, I love Him so much - he really is true to his word. He is faithful as he said he will be. I think that encourages my love for him more than the blessings themselves.
We'll I'll keep you updated as to where God is taking us next. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment